Remembering Our Loved Ones

    Please allow me to share a short Chinese parable with you.

    A long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his Chief Horseman that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much area as he liked, then the Emperor would give him an area of land equal to the land he had covered.

    Sure enough the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much distance as he could. He kept on riding and riding while beating the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible.

    It finally came to a point where he had covered a very substantial expanse, but he was incredibly weary and near death. Then he said to himself, "Why did I push myself so hard to cover so much area? Now I am dying from exhaustion and fatigue. And in the end, I only need a very small area to bury myself.”

    A few days ago, I had a dream about my deceased father. When I awoke, I felt a resurgent sense of emptiness and sadness over the loss of my father.  Even though it has been a couple of years after his death, I find that I still miss him. I miss the same tired jokes he would share with me filled with an honest exuberance as if he was telling it for the first time.

    I miss all of his illogical actions and the shortsightedness that often accompanied him without his intention. And lastly, I miss my father who strove very hard to be the best father he could be. While to some, it might seem like he failed miserably in this aspect. I find that I appreciate his attempt even more. Some people have simply forgotten the importance of trying whether it returns success or failure.

    So, where am I going with all of this? In truth, the answer is found in the parable. Appreciate what you have while you have it with you. Enjoy the struggles though they bring tears. Revel in the change and the wonder of life that each day seems to transform again and again. In the end, it is only here for a short time. It is wonderful to wish for more and to follow your dreams wherever they may take you. However, it is just as important to appreciate the morning’s sunrise. Spend time with your family as much as you can. Spend time with your significant other. Spend time with friends who have been with you throughout the years. Love them, appreciate them, and cherish them.

    With all of this said, I know my words are spoken just as much for myself as to anyone who made read this commentary. In fact, the opinion and advice I offer may apply even more to the one who speaks it. Still, in my hour of personal revelation, I wanted to share my lesson I have learned with those around me. If work controls so much of your time that such wonderful gifts should suffer, then we are no better than the horseman. And in the end, such pursuits lead to loneliness. Instead, find someone you love and appreciate them as you and all of us walk the path together.

I can be reached at malee@ix.netcom.com